More is Caught than Taught

My mom always says, “More is caught than taught.”  This is true.  For years, I would find my mom’s rosary in her bed.  Occasionally I would find her using it there. So last night, in a time of trouble, I used my rosary in bed.

Mom also always says, “You catch more flies with honey.  This is also something that I catch her doing. In her various ways, she will speak with someone softly when she could be yelling to get her point across. Or she will say, “let’s have a cup of tea.” and then sit down with you.  Or when you live far away, and your only way to be with her is to call her, she will say, “let me have my cup of tea with you,” when you are on the phone with her.  

This reminds me of another friend.  She always says, “Everything is fixable except death.”  She used to work in a funeral home so she knows.  She always refers to me as “us” and says when “we” rather than “you,” so that I don’t feel bad about how she is going to correct me.  She is an HR specialist, and that couldn’t be a better way to describe her.  She is more of a big sister to me than a boss anyway.  I can come to her with anything, and she will not tell anyone.  So she is also a confidant.  I love her.

There are many other people in my life that I “catch” doing good things. My sister Michelle, well, she will just unabashedly tells it like it is.  She is direct like me, and I love her for it. Michelle is also extremely generous.  On our annual sisters weekend, one night we all out to dinner and Michelle announced, "I'm buying dinner."  She has also bought me lunch and dinner on several other occasions, lets me go clothes shopping in her giant walk-in closet for free, and performs countless other ways of being generous with her time, treasure, and thoughts and prayers.  

My sister Kim will set by example.  She even gets me to do the rosary during the day (if I am driving to work)!  But we do it together, on the phone, so I am not doing it alone, which I don’t like to do. Kim goes to daily mass as much as possible.  This has influenced me in the past, and I would go to daily mass at times that I could. Kim is also very fun and happy. We have a special bond that can never be broken. She is a massage therapist and she knows what she is doing; as she will demonstrate when you are with her.  She will, without even knowing she is doing it, start massaging your arm or your neck, while you are watching a movie together. This is well appreciated. 

My sister Julia, I call her for advice occasionally.  She always calms me down and has wise words to say.  One time I was telling her about someone who had passed, and she said, “People die every day.” It makes you stop and think.  Julia is wise beyond her years.

My brother, Vinny, he is wise as well.  He will not let you beat around the bush.  If he asks you a question, he expects and answer that answers that question.  Not a half answer, or a tangent, or something else.  For heaven sakes, with Vinny, just answer the question!  This makes me a better listener, to him and to myself.

Christin is my little sister.  I love her in a special way because she is the only one who is younger than me. We used to snuggle and cuddle when we were young.  She used to sneak into my bed every night. Luckily, I had a queen size bed, but it didn’t matter because I would end up on the very edge of the bed with her body pressed up against me anyway.  This position is how I caught my dad in the morning one day.  My mom had already gotten up, but he was still in the middle of the bed. I then saw how much he needed her.  He obviously cuddles up to her every night, as I do my husband Mike.

Now Mike is a tough cookie.  There is not too much you can do to truly please Mike.  You have to do something extra special or extraordinary to please him.  But when you do, you know you have done well.  He will not fake it; ever. He shows his love through actions, not words.  But he will do everything for you in a heartbeat.  He loves his family fiercely, and he shows it actively, every day.

Then I come to Dad.  I can call him at any time to cry, whine, complain, or to otherwise just vent.  And he will listen, and then give good advice. If you are going to a friend’s house, and you need to know what kind of bottle of wine to bring, he will first ask what they are having for dinner.  If you don’t know, then he will ask about the people.  Then he will make his recommendation.  However, if you don’t want to speak about wine for 2 hours, (and he will), then make sure to change the subject after he tells you what to bring to the party. 

Dad is also extremely generous.  He gives us a gift every year on Christmas and our birthday.  But one year, he gave us the biggest gift of all, on HIS birthday. I asked my mom why, and she said that’s how he wanted to spend his birthday, giving gifts to his children.  That, my friends, is generosity.

And now back to Mom.  I don’t even know where to start.  She is my confidant, my mother, my friend, my influencer, my example, my everything. I love mom more fiercely than I can put into words. 

So my friends, remember that more is caught than taught, you catch more flies with honey, everything is fixable but death, don’t beat around the bush, answer questions directly with a yes or no, (or yes or no with an explanation), show your love though actions, and be generous with your love and you treasure. And I would like to add, find the best in all people. 

Love,

Amanda