More is Caught than Taught

My mom always says, “More is caught than taught.”  This is true.  For years, I would find my mom’s rosary in her bed.  Occasionally I would find her using it there. So last night, in a time of trouble, I used my rosary in bed.

Mom also always says, “You catch more flies with honey.  This is also something that I catch her doing. In her various ways, she will speak with someone softly when she could be yelling to get her point across. Or she will say, “let’s have a cup of tea.” and then sit down with you.  Or when you live far away, and your only way to be with her is to call her, she will say, “let me have my cup of tea with you,” when you are on the phone with her.  

This reminds me of another friend.  She always says, “Everything is fixable except death.”  She used to work in a funeral home so she knows.  She always refers to me as “us” and says when “we” rather than “you,” so that I don’t feel bad about how she is going to correct me.  She is an HR specialist, and that couldn’t be a better way to describe her.  She is more of a big sister to me than a boss anyway.  I can come to her with anything, and she will not tell anyone.  So she is also a confidant.  I love her.

There are many other people in my life that I “catch” doing good things. My sister Michelle, well, she will just unabashedly tells it like it is.  She is direct like me, and I love her for it. Michelle is also extremely generous.  On our annual sisters weekend, one night we all out to dinner and Michelle announced, "I'm buying dinner."  She has also bought me lunch and dinner on several other occasions, lets me go clothes shopping in her giant walk-in closet for free, and performs countless other ways of being generous with her time, treasure, and thoughts and prayers.  

My sister Kim will set by example.  She even gets me to do the rosary during the day (if I am driving to work)!  But we do it together, on the phone, so I am not doing it alone, which I don’t like to do. Kim goes to daily mass as much as possible.  This has influenced me in the past, and I would go to daily mass at times that I could. Kim is also very fun and happy. We have a special bond that can never be broken. She is a massage therapist and she knows what she is doing; as she will demonstrate when you are with her.  She will, without even knowing she is doing it, start massaging your arm or your neck, while you are watching a movie together. This is well appreciated. 

My sister Julia, I call her for advice occasionally.  She always calms me down and has wise words to say.  One time I was telling her about someone who had passed, and she said, “People die every day.” It makes you stop and think.  Julia is wise beyond her years.

My brother, Vinny, he is wise as well.  He will not let you beat around the bush.  If he asks you a question, he expects and answer that answers that question.  Not a half answer, or a tangent, or something else.  For heaven sakes, with Vinny, just answer the question!  This makes me a better listener, to him and to myself.

Christin is my little sister.  I love her in a special way because she is the only one who is younger than me. We used to snuggle and cuddle when we were young.  She used to sneak into my bed every night. Luckily, I had a queen size bed, but it didn’t matter because I would end up on the very edge of the bed with her body pressed up against me anyway.  This position is how I caught my dad in the morning one day.  My mom had already gotten up, but he was still in the middle of the bed. I then saw how much he needed her.  He obviously cuddles up to her every night, as I do my husband Mike.

Now Mike is a tough cookie.  There is not too much you can do to truly please Mike.  You have to do something extra special or extraordinary to please him.  But when you do, you know you have done well.  He will not fake it; ever. He shows his love through actions, not words.  But he will do everything for you in a heartbeat.  He loves his family fiercely, and he shows it actively, every day.

Then I come to Dad.  I can call him at any time to cry, whine, complain, or to otherwise just vent.  And he will listen, and then give good advice. If you are going to a friend’s house, and you need to know what kind of bottle of wine to bring, he will first ask what they are having for dinner.  If you don’t know, then he will ask about the people.  Then he will make his recommendation.  However, if you don’t want to speak about wine for 2 hours, (and he will), then make sure to change the subject after he tells you what to bring to the party. 

Dad is also extremely generous.  He gives us a gift every year on Christmas and our birthday.  But one year, he gave us the biggest gift of all, on HIS birthday. I asked my mom why, and she said that’s how he wanted to spend his birthday, giving gifts to his children.  That, my friends, is generosity.

And now back to Mom.  I don’t even know where to start.  She is my confidant, my mother, my friend, my influencer, my example, my everything. I love mom more fiercely than I can put into words. 

So my friends, remember that more is caught than taught, you catch more flies with honey, everything is fixable but death, don’t beat around the bush, answer questions directly with a yes or no, (or yes or no with an explanation), show your love though actions, and be generous with your love and you treasure. And I would like to add, find the best in all people. 

Love,

Amanda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clermont Florida Vistas, Lake Minneola, August 2022

 

It’s 6 am.  My hair is wet, and my mouth tastes like toothpaste.  Everyone is asleep and I am thinking quietly.  It occurs to me that no one has played a sport, no one has been to play practice, and no one has gone outside.  It’s cold, but not snowing, and there is nothing to do outside in the freezing cold. We are lucky when it snows, and we can shovel to get some exercise.

Indoor track, theatre, in person scout meetings, off season weight lifting, The High School Thanksgiving Football game, and in person shop classes are all canceled. In favor of nothing.  In favor of zoom. This is now.

This is pandemic life.  This is what we are living with.  No more birthday parties, no more extended family Thanksgiving, no more visiting parents at Christmas time.  We are lucky if we run into a friend in the grocery store, at the dentist, at a stoplight in traffic, with our windows rolled down. We do the best we can with phone calls, with cookies sent in the mail, with Facebook, with Instagram, with distance love.

But we are ok.  We are making it.  We are doing our best.  But we look forward to the future, when the vaccine comes out.  And it’s good bye Corona.  And hello life!

Oh the weather outside is… beautiful.  My daughter is shoveling the walk while I watch from the window of my kitchen, which today has become a sausage factory.  My husband bought 5 pork butts this morning at our pre-storm shopping trip.  And now he is making sausage to put in the freezer.

I have a zoom call scheduled with an old college friend at 4 today.  Then I am making plans with some of my local friends for a zoom call for next week, because with the corona virus pandemic, we can’t actually see each other in person. That’s just the way it is, until a vaccine is out, we are in a lockdown.

The boys are doing fully remote school in their high school and college.  My middle schoolers are in the school building daily for now, but I am assuming that they will soon go remote as well.

The Christmas tree is lit; and wrapped presents are starting to appear under it. Christmas music is on during car rides, and Amazon trucks are delivering presents around the neighborhood.  It is a different Christmas time this year, but a joyful one.

The stockings are in a box by the mantel, waiting to be hung up on Christmas Eve.  The other decorations and candles are spread around the house.  The Christmas train circles the Christmas tree, and the The Christmas Eve and Christmas day dinner menus are planned. 

Since March, we have been in and out of different levels of shut down. It is December now.  A tragic thing happened a month ago, but the end result turned out to be great.  Bepa (Grandpa Jeff) broke his ankle, so he has been staying at our house.  It has been great to have him here.  Everyone has taken turns having long talks about life with Bepa, and we all enjoy spending time with him.

As 2020 comes to an end, I am looking at its blessings more than its hardships. As far as family time goes, it has been a banner year.  I almost don’t want it to go back to our “normal” fast paced life.  I will take a few more weeks of 2020 life for now. 

 

 

 

 

Last night I drive the boys to a scout meeting, then came home, and pulled youngest off the computer to drive her to gymnastics. Her sister and I dropped her off, I picked up the boys, dropped them off at home, and took my oldest  to the library for a quick 15 minute scramble to get books before we picked up my youngest at gymnastics.   We came home and my oldest daughter did her homework.  I think I went to bed after that, I was so tired I don’t remember.

The next thing I know, I hear my husband say, “Shit it’s 6 am,” (He usually gets up at 4.)

For me 6 am is good, it means I slept through the night without waking up.  I get up, get dressed, and go downstairs with my husband.  I make our K-cups, mine for here, his to go.  We chat a little while he makes scrambled eggs.  He eats half of them, I finish them.  Good, my breakfast is done. 

I log the eggs with butter into my Lose-it app and say good bye as he leaves for work.  I get ready to empty the dishwasher; then grumpily realize my teenager never turned it on last night when he did the dishes. I turn it on.  Then I pack the school snacks for the younger three kids.

Then I go upstairs to wake up said teenager, who always gets up at the last minute.  My other teenager is already downstairs making his breakfast. I drive my high schooler's to school while my oldest eats a slice of chocolate cake in the car.

When I get home I clean up the paper plate he left in the car, eat the minute cake crumb that got caught on my nail even though it’s not on my diet.  Taste a minute morsel of sweet.  Then clean up the cupcake wrappers from last night’s scout meeting; they always seem to be eating in the car.  Also cleanup a pirate’s booty wrapper, I have no idea where it came from, because I didn’t buy it.  The teenagers are getting around these days...

I get home from the High School drop off and go upstairs.  It is now 7:20 am.  I go into the girls room, raise the shade, and sing, “Good Morning to You,” like my mother always did.  I tell them they have two minutes to get dressed and go back downstairs.  I spend the next 45 minutes hustling them along, to get ready, eat breakfast, and I do their hair. 

Then I call, “shoes, coat, backpack,” and get them in the car.  I listen to the two girls argue with their brother the whole ride to school.  Finally, I drop them off, and stop at the housing authority to bring paperwork about my tenant.   The kids are gone.  Radio. Sunglasses.  Music Therapy!

Then I go to work.

Tasting Food Again for the First Time

I’m re-tasting familiar food for the first time, through new taste buds.  Spices have become the joy of my palate, and my body knows what it wants, and when it needs it. 

Who knew that cinnamon is sweet on its own!  I looked in my spice cabinet tonight, and the cinnamon is what I saw (even though I look at it every day).  I reached out, and poured some on my plate, and tasted it raw.  It was sweet!  I never knew it was sweet on its own (and I have tried it many times).  I had only had it mixed with sugar.  But sugar is not in my life anymore.  And I am tasting food for the first time, the way God intended it to be tasted.

Cayenne Red Pepper is my new best flavor.  I add it, and Tabasco, wing sauce, and Frank’s Red hot sauce, to many things that I eat.  When I make an omelet, I am having a little egg with my Cayenne.  When I eat meat, no matter what’s it seasoned with, I add hot sauce.  I love it.  I chew on jalapeno peppers.  My fridge door is a connoisseur of hot sauce.

Inflammation in the body is down.  My face is no longer carb puffed.  I feel light; I feel nothing in my stomach, or belly, where I always felt heaviness before.  I am not weighed down, I feel light on my feet.  No longer am I addicted to bread, I don’t eat pasta, and I no longer desire it, even when I see it being eaten by people around me.

 

Give me some fat.  Give me the saturated fat, which allows my body to release fat cells from my body, and flush them away.  Let the fat fill me, along with the protein, from natural sources, that makes my brain happy!  Give me clarity, give me freedom.  Let me soak it up.  Bring me back to the happiness of a baby, who is eating the right food, the natural food, the ketogenic food, of mother’s milk.

Let me research.  Let me learn.  Let me be amazed at what the body can do, when given the right fuel. Let me see how the body can repair itself, when the bad food is taken away, and replaced with good, natural, Keto food.  Let me read how diabetes and heat disease are reversed with this way of eating.  Let me read how Cancer, that evil cancer, is prevented, and active cases improved by this Keto lifestyle. 

    

Let me fast.  Let me go hours, without hunger, without food, without need for food.  Let my body feed off of last years pizza, ice cream, bread, and carb foods, that entered my body as indulgence, and stayed as fat.  Let me thrive, be awake, not need daily afternoon naps anymore.  Let me wake up in the morning awake, not tired, not wanting to climb back into bed.  Let me eat natural, as God intended it, as our ancestors ate.

Let me exercise.  Let me push further.  Let me last longer, even without eating first.  Let me train, and seek out more.  Let me walk up hills, reach max heart rate, reach euphoric highs. 

Let me walk away from granola bars, pretzels, chips, crackers, bread, grains, cake, muffins, cookies, flavored popcorn, MSG, Maltodextrin, High Fructose Corn Syrup, juice, and sugar.  Let me happily pass them by, no longer ruling my addiction to carbs, more carbs, never wanting to stop eating more, never feeling satisfied.  Let the headaches leave, let them never return.  Let the stomach aches be a pain of the past, now forgotten.  Let me be satisfied with my food.  Let me be free.  Let me live the Keto life, and never look back.

Morning Glory

I get out of bed thirsty, and run downstairs to get a glass of water.  I drink it down, and refill it, and drink it down again.  I start to refill it again, and then decide to just bring the whole pitcher with the glass upstairs.  I get up to the room, the room where we were sleeping an hour ago.  He is now long gone, off to work, his mind moved onto meetings, and plans, and train rides. 

I make the bed and pull the blanket up exactly square, and placed the pillows evenly.

I pick up the basket off the floor, and stand there folding the towels into perfect halves, and then perfect squares, and stack them up in a neat pile.  I am obsessed, with the corners meeting, the sizes stacked in order, the piles aligning square to the bed. 

I go to the machine, pick up the dirty clothes, and spray the spots with pre-spot.  I fold the sprayed clothes in half and put them into the basket, awaiting the next load.  Then I put the previously sprayed load in to the machine, adding soap, and brightener.   I listen to the dryer tumbling, waiting for the beep, when I can unload the clean, warm, clothes. I put them in the clean basket, bring them to the bed, and dump them out on top.  Then I begin to fold, sorting by child, making five piles, and two more piles for mom and dad. 

I finish folding and putting more laundry in.  I wash the hand washing items and hang them to dry.  I continuously listen to my playlist on YouTube.  I revel in the silence, before the storm of children wake up and say, “Mommy, I’m hungry, what’s for breakfast, I’m thirsty, can you make breakfast now…?”

I realize that I actually enjoy folding laundry; because I can make it do what I want, quietly, and make it look pretty.  Then I can put it away and it’s gone, off my bed.  My neat, clean, bed, with perfect corners.  For about 5 minutes.

 

In comes the storm.  She jumps on the bed, and rolls around on the pillows.  She giggles, and smiles, while messing up my corners.  I let her. 

By some miracle, she doesn’t ask for food, she just goes into her brother’s room with the others, and starts to play.  I go back into my room, close my white door, listen to my music on my phone until the battery dies, then I plug it in.  I think about my room, my space, and start to organize the magazines on the dresser, the magazines I never have time to read.  But they look nice in their neatly stacked pile. The pile stacked with hope, of someday, sitting on a beach and reading them, looking at the glossy pictures, of perfect days, miraculously coordinated outfits, with $300 accessories, and nothing real about them.

Seeing as it is still quiet, I continue on my closet organizing project, looking through the clothes and deciding what to keep, and what to give away.  I start to try on some clothes and make piles.  Mid-outfit change, the phone rings.  It’s the doctor’s office.  I realize that if I’m going to talk on the phone, and look at my schedule at the same time, I have to go downstairs.  I go downstairs to the computer, in my underwear.  I hope no one wakes up and sees me, and says, very confused, “Mom,” what are you doing?”  That is exactly what they would say, if I did anything absurd.  When they do something absurd, I have stopped questioning it.  

I get down to the computer, and make three physical appointments for the kids, and note that the next child’s isn’t due until November.  She says they aren’t scheduling November appointments now, so I will need to call back in late August.  I hope I remember to call back before January (it’s happened before). I go back upstairs and get dressed, before the kids notice me.  Maybe I can have a few more minutes of quiet.